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Laura

06 Nov 2007

Fuxedo

Haiku: 

It's like senior prom,

except Laura's not knocked up,

and I'm wearing pants.  

24 Oct 2007

Wayback Machine

Haiku: 

It's a time machine?

Send me back to '93

and Bill Clinton's arms.

09 Oct 2007

Joint Operations

Haiku: 

I'll hold it like this,

where she can't see the green leaves,

or else she'll smoke it.

30 Sep 2007

Kenapause

Haiku: 

I'm just like Barbie.

If Barbie had hot flashes, 

and a coke habit.

05 Sep 2007

Moonlighting

Haiku: 

I've met you before,

at a Hell's Angels event.

You were their mascot. 

03 Aug 2007

Bargain Hunter

Haiku: 

I ran out of clothes,

so I killed and skinned a couch

from 1980.

12 Jul 2007

Uplifting

Haiku: 

Preserve our country!

Just take a look at my face,

I'm doing my part! 

13 Jun 2007

Monkey Business

Best Of: 
Haiku: 

One time I got drunk

with Michael Jackson's monkey

and did this all night.

13 Jun 2007

Tomb Rater

Haiku: 

This will do just fine.

We'll put the coffins right there.

And block the windows.

10 Jun 2007

Jackpot

Haiku: 

After my face lift

every time I blink or sneeze

my colon empties.

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