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Bush

18 Sep 2008

Moose and Squirrel

Haiku: 

Field dressing a moose!?

Sure, I do that twice a month. 

Laura calls it "sex". 

15 Sep 2008

Signing Statement

Haiku: 

These are Armani!

C'mon Barney, wait five months!

Then they'll be Dockers.

 
05 Sep 2008

Money Trail

Haiku: 

I'm getting lonely. 

Even the hookers ran off

to Minnesota.


25 Aug 2008

Condi-ment

Haiku: 

What's my ideal food?

Condi, drenched in tartar sauce

holding a twelve pack.

14 Aug 2008

Smudge Factor

Haiku: 

I see the problem.

When you Xeroxed your backside

you should have wiped first.

12 Aug 2008

Jollyballs

Haiku: 

You girls are so hot!

I'm harder than Algebra

and Physics combined!

11 Aug 2008

Ego

Haiku: 

Those Russian gymnasts,

I think they're looking at us,

and why not, we're hot!

09 Aug 2008
Haiku: 

I can't believe it!

This kid just called me "Daddy"

followed by "Fuckwad!"

06 Aug 2008

Mercy Rule

Haiku: 

Promise me, old dude,

no jokes about McCain's age. 

That shit is just cruel.

05 Aug 2008

Boogeyman

Haiku: 

No handshake for you!

Who knows where that finger's been.

Probably your nose.

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