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Trump

17 Jul 2017

Plan B

Haiku: 

I've changed my mind, folks.

Abortion's okay by me.

Just start with this guy.

12 Jul 2017

Loosey Fur

Haiku: 

Let's band together,

To exorcise the demon,

Living in his hair.

09 Jul 2017

Force of Habit

Haiku: 

That awkward moment,

When your boss tries to grope you,

And he's your father.

07 Jul 2017

Buzz Cut

Haiku: 

I've been to the moon.

I think it's time we go back,

And leave Trump up there.

01 Jul 2017

Evil Lotion

Haiku: 

Rare home video:

Ivanka and Eric Trump,

The Jurassic years.

30 Jun 2017

Press Briefing

Haiku: 

They're reversible.

Simply turn them inside out,

And shit out my mouth.

25 Jun 2017

Nutcracker

Haiku: 

Keep in mind, Eric,

I could crush you with my thighs.

Not in a good way.

24 Jun 2017

Making it Rain

Haiku: 

I'm Jared Kushner,

I'm the guy from the orgy,

Who cried the whole time.

22 Jun 2017

Double Stuffed

Haiku: 

Later that evening,

At Giuliani's penthouse:

Cookie crumbs and piss.

19 Jun 2017

Putin from the Green

Haiku: 

Here's what I'm doing:

Making America great

One hole at a time.

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