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Hillary

07 Nov 2016

Happy Ending

Best Of: 
Haiku: 

The Presidency?

It's a lot like our sex life.

Bill always comes first.

04 Oct 2016

Victory Lap

Haiku: 

Debate side effects:

Whenever I hear Trump's voice,

I slide off my stool.

29 Sep 2016

Tommy Lee Jonesing

Best Of: 
Haiku: 

Bill had his bimbos.

Who cares? I had my share too.

Just ask Mötley Crüe!

13 Sep 2016
Haiku: 

Yeah! Back that thang up!

And by "thang" I mean my ass,

But not my email.

11 Sep 2016

Juice Bar

Haiku: 

Why is this so slow?

Every time Trump says something

Mama needs her juice.

04 Sep 2016

Grouch Potato

Haiku: 

Where'd I get this dress?

I killed and skinned a muppet.

It still smells like Grouch.

23 Aug 2016

Butt Trumpet

Haiku: 

My God, what's that smell?

I think the Republicans

Pooted out a Trump.

15 Aug 2016

Femme Force Five

Haiku: 

Keep your hands off, Bill!

Katie. She-Hulk. Cher. Batgirl.

My squad's off limits.

04 Aug 2016

My Milfshake

Haiku: 

Then the music changed.

Hillary screamed "That's my jam!"

And started twerking.

30 Jul 2016

BOGOs

Haiku: 

Checking my email.

3000 Target coupons.

*delete*, moving on.

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