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13 May 2017

MC Hammer & Sickle

Haiku: 

There was no hacking.

The election was legit,

Just like my dance moves.

11 May 2017

Sub-peener

Haiku: 

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I don't normally date men,

But I owed them one.

09 May 2017

Down Time

Haiku: 

It isn't so bad.

Now I can binge watch snuff films,

And cook meth all day.

08 May 2017

Pisstol Whipped

Haiku: 

Come at me, Colbert!

But not literally though.

That's just for Putin.

06 May 2017

Small Favors

Haiku: 

Good news, gentlemen!

We still cover Viagra.

And that's about it.

04 May 2017

Deplorable Care Act

Haiku: 

Dear poor sick people.

You can all go fuck yourselves.

Love, Emperor Trump.

02 May 2017

Barack to the Future

Haiku: 

This job is fucking hard!

Barack made it look easy.

Can we get him back?

01 May 2017

Oh Captain!

Haiku: 

That awkward moment,

When you're against gay marriage,

And Chris Pine walks by.

30 Apr 2017

Piglet

Haiku: 

My son's so hamsome.

I think it's spelled "handsome", dad.

No. You taste like pork.

27 Apr 2017

Access Denied!

Haiku: 

That's the back door, Mike.

So unless it's your birthday,

You can stop knocking.

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