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12 Aug 2017
Haiku: 

Things I'm gonna kill:

Healthcare, Kathy Griffin, Cher,

Cersei, and the Hound.

10 Aug 2017

Wicked Burn

Haiku: 


That awkward feeling,

When your Tinder profile is

"younghotMrBurns".

09 Aug 2017

Grimace

Haiku: 

My dream position?

Senior Press Secretary,

For Mayor McCheese.

04 Aug 2017

Belle of the Balls

Haiku: 

Is it me fellas,

Or do "inaugural balls",

Sound less gay lately?

03 Aug 2017

Vlad the Pimpaler

Haiku: 

Like most of Russia,

Vladimir discovered crunk,

Thirteen years too late.

01 Aug 2017

Small Wonders

Haiku: 

I can't believe it.

She came out of my penis,

Just like Eric Trump.

31 Jul 2017

Bad Hobbits

Haiku: 

It's bad news, Frodo,

You have to go to Mordor,

And take Jeff Sessions.

30 Jul 2017

Balloon Knut

Haiku: 

If "The Jersey Shore",

Had an anal warts subplot,

He'd be the guest star.

28 Jul 2017

Rotten Tomato

Haiku: 

"GOP Health Care"

It's a summer blockbuster,

But I say "Thumbs down!"

25 Jul 2017

Laundry Day

Haiku: 

Everyone's asking:

How can we fill Session's seat?

He's still wearing pants.

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